There is a terrorist in me…

In the recent past, we in India have seen many terrorist attacks in the cities, which were hitherto unaffected by the terrorism. Fortunately, I was not directly affected by the terrorist attacks but I was not left untouched by the fear that gripped the whole country. The major breakthroughs and many arrests in the terror cases gave me a sigh of relief. On my part, I couldn’t help hating the terrorists involved in these cases because these tormentors, who are waging a war in the name of Islam, are enemies of humanity.

But, the events of last few days have caught me up in an imbroglio. In the Malegaon (Maharashtra, India) blast case, few Hindus have been arrested. These arrested people claim that they are waging a war against Muslims. But shockingly, I was not able to hate these Hindu terrorists as furiously as I had hated the Muslim terrorists. Now, I am feeling guilty for possessing this dangerously misplaced sympathy.

I traced back my roots to find an answer for this disgusting behavior of mine. I did my primary education from a school, which was pro-RSS (a Hindu organization). There, during cultural functions, we were not allowed to clap instead we had to shout “Shri Ram, Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram”. I never understood how the praising of Hindu god, Ram, is related to the performance of the kid on the stage. In that school, during the various speeches, there was no direct reference to Muslims but we could sense the antagonism for the Muslims. By the time, I entered into my teens I had started believing that anybody, who is Muslim, is to be hated.

The primary school’s atmosphere was not the only reason for not hating the Hindu terrorists. I think that I couldn’t hate these terrorists because I found them familiar. They were like our newspaper wala uncle, who used to give us child magazines for free and who took an oath that he would not shave his beard until a Ram (Hindu god) temple is constructed at the Ayodhya’s disputed site. Not to mention, he carries a huge beard these days. These terrorists also seemed like the saffron clad priests, who were very good orators and whose popular but bad-intentioned provoking speeches, during the 1993 Hindu-Muslim riots, made me believe that any crime against Muslims is an act of nationalism. I was just fourteen then.

This childhood conditioning had corrupted me to such an extent that I found myself on the side of the guys who perpetrated a crime against humanity. Now, I can see why Madrasas grab so much of attention. Anyway, I am no more a kid. I can’t let myself sympathizing with terrorists of any caste, creed or religion. I think there is a terrorist in me too and I trust that I will kill him soon.

The creative destruction

The artists, like singers, musicians, poets, painters etc., are the ones I have hated all through my life. Reason? In all kind of gatherings, these artists hog the full limelight and, if you are not an artist, you are destined to be ignored. If an artist is attending a meeting, in the course of the meeting, some foolish flatterer will definitely discover the creative side of the artist and then the meeting’s agenda will take a back seat. All that will be discussed is the artist’s artistic ability and creative knowledge. Obviously, I don’t care about the meeting’s agenda, but, I hate being left out.

In my college days, I hated the artistic folks because they were the invincible competitors when it came to number-of-girls-around-you. “Artists are weirdly cool”. Grrrr…. While scrambling for attention, I too tried becoming an artist. From cramming “shayaris” to trying to learn various music instruments, I have tried it all. But, in vain. Somehow, I always lost the interest in any hobby before I could have learnt anything about it. May be, the artistic character is in genes. God knows!

After passing out of the college, this hatred didn’t die and, believe me, it’s not because of my attitude. People have kept me frustrated. My boss once said, “You should have a life after office. Pursuing an art would help you in your professional life”. Two of my team members felt proud and I felt like chopping my boss’s head while riding on his chest. Last year, I had planned to do MBA, but when I opened the application form, it was not for me, it was only for the people with the artistic abilities. The MBA institute needs to know your creative abilities (for some s**t reason) and along with it they need proofs like certificates and trophies.

Now what is this creativity that I am deprived of? I am not a dull or dry kinda person. But, the traits, which I possess, can’t be called creative. I cannot act in a drama but I can surely spoof it. I am a very good gossiper as well. I can’t sing or play an instrument on the stage but I can hoot with the audience for hours. I can’t dance on the floor but I can do bone-breaking “bhangra” in a baaraat (a marriage procession). I cannot paint but I can come up with a totally different perception of a painting (However, I may get comments like “disgusting” for that perception). I definitely cannot be called creative for all this but I at least deserve to be called “creatively destructive”. Do I stand a chance here?

You can argue that there is no point in recognizing creative destruction because there are many people who can be creatively destructive. But, I would say that there are many people who can sing but not everybody is a singer. There is a need to change our mindset, which does not allow us to appreciate creative destruction. And, there is a need of “creatively” designed competitions which recognize the creatively destructive talent.

Until this change happens, I will keep on hating the artistic talent and will do stupid things to hog the limelight.

Getting ready for a battle

America is in recession. The number of economists bluntly claiming this theory is outpacing the number of economists defensively claiming that America has still got a chance. Recent slowdown in the Indian industry augurs that, because of this American recession, in India we may see a slowdown, if not a full-blown recession. During the last recession of 2002, I was a fresh college graduate and then the challenge was to get my dream job. Cut to 2008 - if the recession strikes, the challenge, I face, is to retain what I have. I lost the battle against the recession in 2002 because I was caught unaware. But this time, I am preparing for the battle, which, if the economists are to be believed, will continue for at least 2 years (Should I call it a war and not a battle? Literary confusions!).

I know, managing my career successfully will win me the battle and that brings me to the question – how to. Previously, I had decided that I would not enter into the people management so early in my career because I feel that I can understand the business better by managing the product and not by managing the people. A good side-effect of this decision is that I have a better chance of survival in this recession. I say this because the surveys done on recession indicate that, during a recession, middle management has a higher probability of getting laid off in the name of “flattening the organization” (Click here to see the results of one such survey). They mean it when they say, “managers are overhead”. However, I cannot be complacent just because I am not a manager and I should take steps to make myself recession-proof.

The self-proclaimed “recession experts” suggest, in their writings, to work hard and make myself indispensable. But, believe me (?), I have been working hard ever since I started my career. And, how could I be indispensable, if my whole department gets laid off? Negative thoughts hit before and harder than recession! The other suggestions they give are network and make contacts, find additional income sources and invest in education. These suggestions seem to be effective but may not be appropriate in all kind of situations.

Right now, I am confused and I have not zeroed upon my course of action. But, one thing I am sure of is that I am going to take conscious, proactive and informed decisions to decide my career path in this recession. Whatever may be the outcome of this battle against the recession, I will fight.